sarahmeyers

I saw a t.v. clip the other day - it was an interview with Oprah about her weight issues.

She was encouraging other women who had “fallen off the bandwagon” to get on again.

So, here I am . *lol* , climbing aboard with all of  you lovely ladies.

She reminded me that we should appreciate our bodies for what they ARE and what they CAN do.

Why, as women, do we put such unrealistic expectations on ourselves and forget to focus on the positive?

She also talked about on other thing that rang true to me…

That when we eat, it is SO often for emotional reasons, and not because we are hungry.

We are so exhausted and make so little time for ourselves, to take CARE of ourselves (and our bodies) that we are hungry for it.

And that “hungriness” leads us to food, which is a quick fix, an instant gratification to fill us up with the satisfaction of giving our bodies what they think they crave.

I know that my life is extremely stressful right now (4 kids, 2 businesses, an overworked husband, financial pressure) and that makes finding “me” time rare to imposible.

When I do have it, it seems that I just cannot “waste” it on exercising or eating a salad over cookies.

I am now turning 30 in a few months, and have seemingly just realized that my body is getting older.

But it is not too late! I want to have the body I dream of, be healthy like I have always aspired to be, before I am 40 or 50… before it gets any harder!

So, this is my kick off.

I know that I am only being dragged by the bandwagon at this point, I wont fool myself. I am barely hanging on and I even hate the thought of staying aboard. But I am here, and I am fessing up to my food addictions, my exercise aversions, and my body issues.

I am with Oprah - I love my body for what it is, which is why I am making the decision to treat it right, to take care of it and give it the opportunity it deserves to be as healthy as it can be.

Yes, you read the title right.  I was so lazy & ate horribly last week.. so I am starting over again. Monday is always a good day for that. I am going to write a brief post every day with a synopsis of my progress/pitfalls. I am not sure who out there really cares to read it, but in some strange way it will hold me accountable. Who else out there conveniently skips logging on during the days/weeks that they have fallen off the wagon? (I’m raising my hand right now). Even if it is a day that I eat 6 slices of pizza and lie around like a sloth… I’m gonna post it. Who else out there would like to do the same? It would be fun (and helpful) if we could start a group who posts brief progress reports every day. .. not about weight in particular, but about exercise, healthy life & eating choices, etc. Send me a message if you do and let’s begin!!!

My last post was titled “Blew it”.. but I hadn’t even hit bottom yet! After my boys were sick I got the flu, too, which wasn’t the stomach type & did nothing to curb my appetite. In fact, it seems like I gave myself a “get out of jail free” card to eat whatever I wanted since i felt so crappy. Then, alas, came Valentine’s day. The hubs was so sweet, showering me with the quintessential Chocolate, flowers, teddy bears, sugar & more chocolate. Then there was my mom’s homemade valentine Sugar cookies - who can resist those?! Does anyone else have a problem with allowing yourself mom’s baked goods as a special exception to your diet? It’s like, if she made it it doesn’t have any calories.. hah! On Monday and Tuesday it was hard to pull myself out of the rut, since I kept giving myself “until tomorrow” to start eating right again & exercising. I finally pulled myself together yesterday and got back on the scale, too. I gained 3 pounds!! Holy cow. I’m not sure if it was all in my head, but my jeans seem to have shrunk three sizes since last week! ANYWAY. I am still here, and I am going to keep going. That is what counts. So many times in the past I have given up as soon as I fail once. But not this time….. This time I am sticking with it!!

After only one week, I’m already finding myself pulling back towards my old, unhealthy habits. My youngest boys are both sick, I’m trying to work from home & manage everything while my husband’s in Kentucky & the house is wrecked. On top of it, I know I haven’t gotten enough sleep….so……  I’m stressed, I’m tired & I wanna eat!! What’s more, how can you justify the time to exercise when you can’t even get the every day stuff accomplished? As a consequence to all of this I haven’t been on the treadmill in two days and I can’t even think about going to the gym when the boys are sick. SOOooooo. I simply logged on to vent this morning. I’m trying to remind myself this is a temporary lull, and not allow it as an excuse to let my progress slip. THe boys will get better, I will catch up on my work, I will get back to the gym, The hubs will be back in a week or two. Trying to stay positive and stick with it!!

I’ve tried a lot of “nutritional supplement” drinks over the last few years, but I finally found one that rocks! The Myoplex Lite Chocolate Fudge Drinks are full of protein and vitamins, but only have 170 calories in them. Did I also mention they taste super yummy? Especially if you arae a sugarholic like me. This is starting to sound like a commercial, but I wanted to pass on the tip. When I drink this in the afternoon it really does make me feel full and it is so much healthier than the slimfast drinks with all their added sugar. They are a little pricey, but what won’t we sacrifice to win this war with our weight? Hope everyone is doing well and sticking with it this week!!

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how I want to lose weight and how I might accomplish such a feat. Key word - ** thinking **. The running joke in our family is how every day I say that I am going to start a diet “tomorrow”. It is actually a rather convenient way of transcending my guilt and overlooking how unhappy I actually feel right now in my own body. Why do today what you can easily put off for tomorrow, right? I always have had a tendency to procrastinate, just ask my husband! 

So after numerous short-lived diets & sporadic burst of half-hearted exercise, I’m finally ready to commit… I think. The final note of hesitation is exactly why I am starting this blog. I hope that other  people might check in with me & help keep me in line. Maybe If I have to post a before & after picture of me in a bikini I might actually stick with this diet thing. On second thought, the bikini picture thing isn’t gonna happen, but just the notion ** shutter ** makes me want to be good. 

 Moving on…..

Like a lot of women, my body struggles started after I had my first baby. I totally enjoyed my pregnancy & used it as an excuse to eat everything in sight and sit on my rump 24/7. Inevitably, I ended up gaining a whopping 80 lbs! I still kick myself for that today, since I have unsightly stretch marks all over. Six months after my son was born, I got pregnant again (stupid, huh?). I love the fact that my kids are only 16 months apart, but it certainly didn’t help me in the weight department. I did, however, manage to lose about half of the weight before I got pregnant for my third child & I enjoyed a much healthier pregnancy that time around.

By the time Ethan (#3) was two I finally figured out that breast feeding, along with calorie restriction & excercise, was an excellent way to lose weight. I got involved in an aerobics program, started to make healthier food choices & **Tada!** I shed all of the pounds, achieving my lowest weight ever!  Then came #4 (Isaac). I only gained an average amount of pregnancy weight that time around, about 25 pounds, and I even manage to shed most of them before he was even 6 months old. Then stress intervened.

My husband and I had been going through a rough patch in our relationship and that -  combined with work, chores, errands & kids - drove me back to eating. Yes, I am most definately an emotional eater. If I am sad, bored, lonely or pissed off the first thing I do is head for the kitchen. Not only do i eat, but I OVEReat. It seems so comforting at first to down an entire bag of buttery popcorn or a half gallon of Edy’s chocolate chip cookie dough. You even try to deny that it matters at first. But then your clothes quietly tell you the truth.. because every day they are getting a little tighter. Until, one day, you realize you can’t quite get them over your hips.. at least, not without that ugly fat roll hanging out. And suddenly you are wearing the same pairs of jeans every day, because the 15 other you have in your closet don’t fit anymore.

Which brings me full circle with the reason  I started this blog in the first place. I want to wear those damn jeans again. I Want to look at myself naked in the mirror without cringing. I want to sweat at the gym & see some definition in my arms and less jiggle in my thighs.  I WANT IT! The only thing I am lacking is the motivation, but I hope to improve in that area. Hopefully, with your help. It’s a start…